Growing up, my life and that of those around me was embroiled in so much drama, I imagined my adult life would be rather complicated. I’m amazed at how stress free and uncomplicated my life is right now.

    Actually, I’m a little disappointed. I waged and prepared my whole life to battle fate except there isn’t much to fight for.

    When I get restless, I sometimes think of shadows, it means it’s either sunny or there’s a light close by.

    Another day of no work!

    We snowshoed up to my boss’ cabin in Hollyburn. It wasn’t just my boss and I, because that’ll be just weird, it was our whole crew.

    It was a sort of work day away from the office. A retreat, if you will. We went up there, ate and discussed what we could do for the company and even more importantly, what the company can do for us and then we ate some more.

    It’s one of those situations were people get overly ambitious and excited, because we’ve come to the summit of a mountain, our goals and objectives somehow has to match. The enthusiasm was so infectious I suggested that this year… “I think we should at least try and get someone to the moon”

    Everyone’s face lit up!

    Yaa & the yoga DVDs

    I took a couple of days off work to get myself centered and rested. I’ve felt a little unbalanced of late, it’s funny because, I claim I abhor the monotony of life yet I come unhinged at the slightest alteration to my rhythm.

    I’ve been out for a run only once since the start of the year. It’s not entirely my fault, however, the crazy weather and I share equal blame.

    I tried a yoga class last year which I really liked, I haven’t made it back since because the timing doesn’t work for me; so I got this and a host of others DVDs and I’ve become slightly possessed.

    I’ve been doing them religiously morning and night, as if to make up for the fact that I’m not out there running anymore. I even changed my waking-up schedule just so I can get a workout in before I leave for work in the mornings. I’m not even sure I like them or they’re any good. I just know that I have to do them, maybe I’m bored and it’s there. I probably should try sex or masturbate to wean myself off this craziness.

    I turned the living room upside down to make room for my mat and it’s all I seem to do, I go home, do it for hours, got to sleep, wake up a few hours later and I’m at it again.

    Thoughts of my yoga DVDs started creeping up at work; this is when I realized I needed help.

    The best way to end a harmful habit is to understand the origins of said habit, in my case, where was my bizarre addiction these yoga DVDs coming from? I came up with the weather, my guilt for not exercising and the fact that I’m anal retentive.

    This little incident also made me realize how much running has become a part of what keeps me sane, I keep at those DVDs is because I keep hoping to get that buzz I get from running.

    I always maintained that I’m not one of those people that LOVE to run, I felt I tolerated it, this incident has showed me otherwise, I may not love running, I just need to run occasionally for my sanity.

    I haven’t even been running that much lately, in fact I’ve been down right slacking for a year or so. My extra snug clothes attest to that.

    I have a little prayer; that tomorrow the skies will clear up. Oh and also I miss the sun!

    mission hill_compound

    Here’s a picture to remember sunny days by!

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    Life reconciled

    I read this article that suggests that at a certain point we resolve ourselves to our lives and let go of our dreams.

    I don’t’ believe we do this all at once, I think we let go slowly until we’re left with what we’ve become. I wonder how you then live with yourself then, how do you get to that height of contentment if you haven’t tried from the very beginning?

    I was pondering misfortunes and luck this morning, I concluded that even though I don’t know what misfortunes are headed my way, I’m pretty sure I’ll handle them fairly well. It’s luck that I have a hard time getting a grip on.

    I was reading Janey’s fascinating visit to a soothsayer and realized it’s a part of my culture that I was never allowed to explore.

    How can I attain that highest level of spiritual enlightenment and satisfaction when I’m supposed to deny and be so closed minded about my heritage?

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