Dearest Reader, as you read this, I/m probably up in the air en route to the magical city of Paris.
You probably also know that I don’t speak French, I’ve said this before; most of the French I know I learned from cereal boxes (Yay! for bilingual Canada)
I tried this time, I watched a lot French tv – apparently I’m subscribed to about five French tv channels.
I don’t think I learnt much though but I discovered good Quebecois cinema, like J’ai tué ma mère (I killed my mother) by the young and talented Xavier Dolan.
Then there’s this whole thing about Quebec French being different from France French.
It’s always that one friend who spent that one year in France that shits on you for wanting to learn Canadian French. As if to imply that one is superior to the other.
Of course it’s different! They live in different regions of the world…
Do Brits and Americans sound the same?

So anyway, like I said I didn’t learn much…
I did however learn three very important phrases, because let’s face it, with the kind of fun I plan on having – those are the only French phrases I need to know.
Phrase 1 – “Je suis désolé” (I’m sorry) – because someone once told me ‘I’m sorry’ is the first sentence to learn of any language

Phrase 2 – “Aidez-moi, je suis perdu” (Help, I’m lost) – Getting lost isn’t fun especially in a country where you don’t speak the language
Phrase 3 – “Je voudrais contact avec le Consulat Général du Canada” (I’d like to contact the Canadian consulate, please) That is pretty self explanatory.