Mike’s one of my favourite Facebook ‘friends’, he’s outspoken, laid-back, fun and not creepy.

He lives in Ghana, very dedicated to the business he runs and plays hard as well.

I may have gone to school with him, I don’t remember.

He has understated chauvinistic opinions but in a way that adds to his humorous personality because you really don’t want to believe that he’s serious about the things he says.

Mike seems like he’ll be a riot in person, every once in a while Mike and I would talk on Face Book chat – about what he’s been up to, his strong mistrust of his government and how he thinks I should be living my life, short fun conversations that breaks up the monotony.

Mike has one repeated request though; he’s wants to see pictures, close to the end of our conversations he’ll just put it out there “so, any new pictures?”

I gave him the link to my flickr account once, he came back and said he wasn’t looking for pictures of ‘things’ I’d photographed; he wants pictures of me. I’m sure he tries this with all the ‘girls’.

Mike and I talked yesterday, we hadn’t spoken in months, things are going well for him, he still hates the government and he has broadband now, so he’ll be online more. I try not to belabour my point when he insists he’s good to drive after several bottles of beer. And then he asks for those photos, I tell him I’m taking more pictures now and blah blah blah… that’s exactly how he probably hears it because he insists on those shots of me.

I give him a link to a flickr set of photowalks, there’re a few shots of me there. Mike browses for a few minutes and comes back with this; “Nice pictures, but I think you could do better with a bit more short dresses, don’t you think?”

I LOLZ it away because, oh Mike he’s so funny… but he’s not done yet, “You should try some short skirts and shorts too, and stop wearing trainers, you’re a sweet lady, get some high heels”

I’m a little dumbfounded so I try to inject weakly “but… these are photos of me in a park though”

“Yes, but you should try and show more of your assets, don’t wear slacks, get some shorts and high heels when you’re going the next time” He says.

I decide I’m fighting a loosing battle and I really don’t want to make excuses, I say he’s right, I’m wrong and thanked him for his help. Next time I’ll wear high heals and short shorts to walk the Seawall, besides I see people do it occasional and think they’re idiots but I guess they’re friends of Mike.

He goes on to give me this piece of advice “You have to have a bit of tease in you, I saw some of your backside in the slacks, we want to see more of that”

“Ok” I say

But then he leaves me with these parting remarks “If you want to become a pro in photography, you have to make your pictures look like it’s about to explode in your face”

Huh? I’m confused; I have to dress like a slut to take great pictures? I’m not sure what one’s got to do with the other but I don’t ask Mike.

)

I start to think that maybe he’s on to something so I talk about this to the only sympathetic person I know. Guy listens quietly for a while and then says “If you care so much about this person’s opinions then wear some of those ‘inappropriate’ clothes your mom complains about, take pictures and send them to him, I’m sure his face would explode”