Archive for June, 2008

How not to run a half marathon


Finish lineI wouldn’t advise anyone to run a half marathon without training.

I did it and I paid dearly for it, I’m still paying for it.

I wasn’t anywhere close to beating my last year’s time; it was rather silly of me to think that I could.

This was the longest 2hrs 20mins 39secs of my life! The first 10kms was bearable, I made good time and I even got a little cocky… I imagined I’d call up friends and inform them I was right in a middle of a half marathon.

It got hellish during the next 11kms, I got tired and started lagging – I didn’t push too hard because I knew my breathing would suffer and then I wouldn’t be able to run at all. Instead, I dragged myself and tried to breathe steadily and think happy thoughts.

My bib Crossing the finish line Finishers Tired
1:47.35 5kers 1:48.15 Medal

The inclines almost killed me, I almost stopped at one point – the only reason I kept going was because I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t even realize this until after I’d finished.

I was in the crowd watching the finishers – a woman was visibly upset, crying and struggling to get to the finish line, almost as if she was being forced. This very excruciating scene led me to ask, “Why doesn’t she just stop?”

“Because she doesn’t want to be known as the quitter” was what someone said.

That was it!

It was the fear of being labeled a quitter that goaded me into finishing the race.

I finished, I could barely stand afterwards and everything hurts now.

Posted June 23rd, 2008 in Events, Excercise, Run. Tagged: , , .

On getting it back


RunI picked up my race packet last night still debating whether to run.

At this point it’s a test to see if I can run 21km (13.1 miles) without training.

I’ve slacked off so badly it’s shaming! I don’t have any excuses, no one to blame but myself.

I’m hoping some good will come out of this race though, sometimes you get so far off in the deep end there’s nothing more to do but turn back. I’m hoping this is one of those instances, that this will be the turning point.

I’m slightly comforted by this thought; it’s like I’m having one of those moments that encourages people to change their lives. I’m hoping I’ll look back on this day and smile knowing the exact moment I decided to take control.

I’m being a little dramatic here but I really hope I can use this race to get things started again. I’ve been off the grid for so long I need motivators. The running magazine does help but eventually I’m going to have to buckle down and just do it.

I’m hoping to stay within 2:03 hrs, and if I’m able to do that, I’ll reward myself!

Here’s to a great run tomorrow guys!

Posted June 21st, 2008 in Excercise, Run. Tagged: , , .

All about my mother


379af5dbbdfa037c_o copy Having my mom here is almost like being in therapy; I’m learning so much about my self and life.

I’ve reconciled myself to the notion that my mother and I aren’t unalike; with our only dissimilarities being time and life choices.

I was thirteen years old the last time I lived under the same roof with my mother for more than a month, life was supposed to be simpler back then. She was responsible for me and I wasn’t supposed to worry, except I worried all the time – my teenage years it seem were spent in despair.

I asked her if she remembered the adolescent years, she had a wry smile that lingered on for a little too long and looked away as if she hadn’t heard the question.

We still don’t talk about certain things. A few nights ago, I went from thinking I knew all our dirty little secrets to finding out yet another appalling thing about my father. But its effect wasn’t just about my father; it was also about my mother and our little dysfunctional clan.

My father’s deeds, which some might even call criminal, wasn’t at all shocking to me. It was however disappointing because it outlined a fray in my parents relationship long before the glorious doom.

Another family member let this slip during a discussion with my mother; it came as quite the revelation to me. I’m not sure what disappointed me the most, what my father did or my mother’s reaction afterwards.

I haven’t been able to get my mom to elaborate on the issue since then, she simply clamped up.

I feel I’m sometimes too hard on her, it feels like I’m constantly questioning her choices or challenging her decisions.

There are those women who’re afraid of turning into their mothers and there are those like me, who wish their mothers had acted a little bit more like them.

We’re all wrong, of course.

Posted June 18th, 2008 in Life. Tagged: , , .

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